damn u...

how cruel can life get?
im in a midst of a crisis
yet i still have to face rejection

today i found out i wont be included in the
floorball division3 team...
shack balls...
after all that long training hours...
sweat and pain...
i din make it...
yeah sure...
theres always next year...
but what about now?
im soupose to go for training
and be happy for my friends
who made it and act as if im
happy?
i mean...
yeah...
congrats to those who made it...
but i jus feel damn shack rite now...
balls...
_______________________________________
Ku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir di antara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku

Maafkan aku…Menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku..Tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu..Yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku..Sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila..Ku bisa memilih

Kalau saja waktu itu Ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua takkan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran

dammit...

its the same old feeling...
taking its toll on me
just at a different time...

what was back then,
still is now...

i just dont get it...

how is it that,
something that is never mine,
always leaves me wanting more...

how is it that,
something that causes me so much pain,
can bring me to such highs...

how is it that,
everytime i leave,
i end up coming back again...

danm it!

i hate myself for
having to go through this...
over and over again...

yet i just love
to force all the
thoughts into my mind...

argh...
i need help...
an intervention...
a cure...
more time...

or maybe...

just maybe...

all i really need...

is what ive been talking about all along...

------------------------------------------------

gonna be having
floorball camp till friday...
so...
yah...
till friday i guess...

first holidays...

what hurts the most,
is being soo close,
and have soo much to say...

hmmm...
as u can probably tell...
kinda 'emo' right now...
nothing drastic...
jus very very confused and lost...
*figure it out urself*

anywayz...
on a high note...
finally got to watch
pirates of the caribbean...
watched it alone...
thks to ppl i know who cant
bother to watch it together...
felt like 1 of those lonely
uncles who go to the movies alone
to...
erm...
god knows what they are doing
in the cinema by themselves...
haha...

anywayz...
the movie was great...
didnt know singapore was once
occupied by chinese pirates...
and chow yun fat!!!
hahaha...
imagine if they stuck wit
our country coming from
malay beginnings...
haha...
they would probably have to hire
Suhaimi yusof or Najip Ali
to be the asian captain...
hahaha...
anywayz...
keira knightly was hot...
regardless of what ppl
think of her boobs...
she is HOT!!!
haha...
and the way she dresses
in the movie might
just end up being
some guys fetish...
haha...
*dun get any ideas...its not me*
anywayz...
the whole POTC always have the
habit of leaving some scence
for after the credits...
so there i was...
after the movie ended...
waiting for the credits to roll...
as i held in my pee...
and it was worth it...
haha...
got to see keira knightly one more time...
haha...coolness...

hmm...
got to see the movie today
as its the start of my break...
2 weeks...
no school...
but sadly...
there is still floorball
training...
and its usual time which is in the evenings...
so yeah...
kinda doomed to staying at home on weekdays...

balls...

hey balls...
im talking to this mad girl
named nona...
she keeps shouting every few seconds...
haha...

u guys shud know who
she is...
so wun drag...

anywayz...
damn bored now..
bloggin jus to pass time...

had scr this morning...
kinda cool lah...
got to meet up wit
sean,arif,kiff...
the old guys lah basically...
fun!!!
anywayz...
mad love wit the court
floors today...
bryant's late tackle on me sent me
tripping and made me fly...
first time sia...
felt like DIDIER DROGBA when hes diving...
jus that mine was real...
haha...
yeah balls...

anywayz...
spent the rest of the day at home..
so i dun really have much to say..
byes...

poly life...

lessons in sch today sucked...
real bad...
not only was the module boring
(math and computing)
the facilitator could not
speak proper english...
i had to think real hard
before understanding what she had to say...

but it was cool after school...
(hey that rhymed! haha...lame...)
had floorball pratice...
performed ok i guess...
but it was good enough for my seniors
to notice and select me to go for
seniors training...
but im not gonna...yet...
gonna go for 1 final year 1 training on
friday before starting with seniors
training next week...

its champions league finals day...
yup...
AC Milan Vs Liverpool...
cant wait ball...
not gonna be sleeping today...
haha..

anywayz...
heres one turn off for the day...
during class...
i somehow brain washed
some of my class guys to play scr tmr
with a team from another class...
den dunno how...
the other team's 'captain'
tot we very arrogant and
made the game personnal...
wtf...
anywayz...
im pumped...
gonna slot into my teams
defence and make it hard for
the other team as much
as possible...
im not very confident
cos were a new team...
but ill give it as much as i can...
haha...
goona go wit the 'win win, lose lose'
mentality and not care about
the outcome...
lets ust say those guys from the
other class are not facing
the 5N1 boys...
sean would probably blow their defence wide open...
arif would 'ole' their asses off...
kiff wud jus irritate them...haha...
lee hua will be solid between the post...
bry will be taking up the striking duties...
hanafie will play with math by is side...
and me...in the centre of it all...
haha...

if i could...

havent been blogging...
no mood...
always to tired to blog by
the time i reach home...

anywayz...
im looking for a new blogskin...
smth simple and neutral...

sch is starting to become stressfull...
and best part...
its not because of the studies...

haha
blog more later...
maybe...

random

yeah balls!!!
manU are champs...
in your face chelsea...
that goes to show money
cant buy u the best talent...

in sch now...
as usual...
damn bored...
body aching like hell...
yet still have training later...
blah...
hope i make it into the school team...

random

argh...
damn tired now...
whole body aching...
feels just like secondary sch...
only differance being
im not wearing a school uniform...

had floorball training yesterday...
it was soupose to be a physical training
so we had to run,do sit ups and push ups...
feels like ncc sia...

sch is the same
cold and boring...
hah...

'i am jealous of her cos
she gets to touch herself everyday'

school...

in sch now...
very very bored...
my eyes almost went shut
on the mrt...
late nights are really
taking its toll on me...
i can barely stay awake on the long mrt
rides from novena to woodlands...
and to think i still have like 3 years left...
and its still 16weeks before the first break...
damn damn damn...
had a big stomach ache this morning...
probably yesterday nights's fishball noodle...
wat a 'great' way to start the day...
body aching badly now...
probably because of soccer yesterday...

talking about soccer...
ManU are well on the way
to lifting the premiership trophy...
a win over everton at everton for the devils
and a draw for chelsea at home to bolton
has given fergie at his boys a 5 point
lead on the table
with onli 3 games to go...
good luck guys!!!

floorbalL!

erm ok...
im still on a high right now...
damn...
today was my first ever floorball
session...
damn it was fun...
jus think about it...
ure playing floorball at 1 side
and there a beautiful girl playing
netball at the other...
haha...
u do da math...

bored...

damn...
havent blog'ed for like a week...
really no time to...
i finish school at 4...
reach home at 6(1730 if lucky)
and by that time...
im always to beat and tired...
and like wat the fuck lah...
every single day i need to
do a 'reflective journal' for school...
damn it man...

anywayz...
really miss bhss alot...
miss playing scr during recess after
eating a bowl of mee soto in the canteen...
haha...
if u guys are reading this...
we should really meet up
some time...

as for sch...
as normal...
always feeling sleepy in school...
hahaha...

in sch

in sch now...
damn bored...

seriously
i think my facilitator is homo...
and da lesson
is bullshit lah...
wtf are we
learning abt some
stupid sport for??
dum sial...

SHL! SHL! SHL!

SHL! SHL! SHL!
da most common thing
i heard throughout da orientation
damn it was crazy...

i seriously think
ive found my true
calling...
studiying sports
wit a bunch
of loud and
crazy ppl...
along wit tons
and tons
of hot girls...

hehe...
ok...
da orientations was cool...
da first may
was a little dull
it was class orientation
met my classmates for da semester
made some friends...

den da second day...
met up wit
ppl who were in da
same scool as me...
school of Sports,Health and Leisure(SHL)
dey were great sia...
and it helped alot
dat da seniors showed
us da ropes...
on how to be
extremely noisy and disturbing
to da other ppl...
haha...
SHL!!!

on da third day...
there was alot of slacking going on...
so i took
da chance to teach
my team mates da game
'black magic'
haha...
dey kinda got irritated...
anyways...
da sch field become
a party ground at nite...
we had a jam and hop to
end da orientation...
fun sial!!!

haha...
miss it man...
especially a certian sumone...
hint-its not a groupmate...
haha...

anywayz...
theres gonna be a camp
coming up...
jus for shl students...
cant wait!

poly is kinda cool...

erm...
ok...
poly is kinda cool...
not gonna get
into too much details cos i need
to go to da toilet and crap...

so ya...
basically...
its nice...
tell u guys more tmr
after my orientation
ends...
da onli thing dat sucks is
probably going to woodlands and
back...
haha...
pride of da north mah!
haha...
nites...

just a few more days...

its been a looong weekend...
because of good friday,
da whole of singapore could enjoy
a nice 3-day-long
weekend...

on friday...
me and my whole family headed-down to
ecp for nice family picnic...
wasnt really very fun...
there was seriously nothing to do there...
probably da highlight of da whole
day was riding on one of those
2 seater bikes wit my cousin...
thsts an understate ment of
how dull it was overall...

den on saturday...
went out shopping wit karl...
was soupose to get a bag
and a pair of new shoes for poly...
but ended up just getting a bag...
finally...
my years of wait have ended...

got myself a crumpler school bag...

den finally on sunday...
went to play soccer
wit my friends...
seriously getting very unfit sial!!
couldnt run alot after 1 hour...
maybe its got smth to do wit
how hot da day was...
haha...
but soccer was fun...
other that dat time
wen fhadli tried
to break my leg bone wit
his kick...
damn U fhadli!!!
haha...
after scr we headed to
novena where we had lunch
at 'fork and spoon'...
im seriously getiing
addicted to the
'fried fish soup' there...
after walking around da shopping
centre for some time
we headed home...

yup...
dats all for da weekends...
gotta hit da sacks now...
need to got to sch tmr
to get my laptop fixed...
damn...
and ive onli got like
2 days left sch starts...
damn...

The real battle lies within

Din post for da past 2 days
stupid problems cropped up...

anyways...
updates for da past
2 days...
*im rejecting da offer for da saf scholarship...
*gonna be getting a pair of Vans slip on shoes for poly
*prolly gonna be getting a pair of straight cut jeans
*and also a few t-shirt...

hmmm...
ok...now to today's post...
hmm...

i went running at tpy stadium today...
was aiming to have a go at a 2.4km run...
it was gonna take 6 rounds
around da track...
and so...
as soon as i placed
my stuff inside on of da lockers...
i got on with it...

round 1,
hmm...doing fine...

round 2,
starting get warm...

round 3,
ok...really sweating now...
and da fact dat it was a cold nite
kinda made it abit painful on da joints...

round 4,
ok...
damn it...
its looking like dat theiry henry nike commercial...
my body is saying no...
but my mind was saying go...

round 5,
and den da fight started...
my stomach started to hurt...
even my mind was telling me to pull da brakes...

round 6,
finally...
i really had to get my mind off running
just to make it past da finish point...
thanks to tha HOT GALS who were running at dat time...

ok...
now...
to think of it...
dont we go through da same
things every single day?

were set on doing something...
but end up not doing so
cos we were to weak and submissive
to what our minds told us...

hmmm...
i guest dats why da worlds
full of crack addicts...
haha...

dats all folks...

up,down,left,right...

hehe...
busy day today...
slept alot...
haha...

anywayz...
was kinda beat after
my BBQ wit my friends yesterday...
haha...
damn fun...
but it was a long day...

it all began at abt 4pm...
i left my hse carrying my cooler
and a container
full of bee hoon...
walk to da main road
thinking i would get a taxi...
after waiting for like 20mins...
i walked to lee hua's hse...
where we were able to get
a taxi in like 5 mins...
damn taxi drivers!!!

after picking up keiths and bry...
we headed to the
food wholesale center
to pick up da satay...
before finally heading to east coast...

wen we reach there...
da taxi dropped us off
at da wrong car park...
we had to carry everything we had
to da bbq pit...
and da best part was...
we were sent walking da wrong way
thxs to da signboards...
by da time we found out...
we were like 2 km from our pit...
thanks NPB!!!

but i was all smooth
after dat...
everyone had a great time...
i suspect that there must have been
drugs in da charcoal
cos everone was damn high after
da bbq started...

it begins all over again...

hey...
i know ive probably said this like
too many times...
but yah...
im back...
hopefully this time
i get to blog more often...

well...
its abt time for a new chpt to begin
ive deleted all my new post
and looking forward to new ones...
im abt to start my first year in poly...
got me a slick laptop
(da reason why ill be able to blog easily)
got me a new sch
(republic poly)
no new flings at the current moment...
and not too many new fren either...

still a manchester united fan
and still in love wit da game...
still hopeless in romance...
and still as chubby as ever...
(im probably getting fat to...)

well...
dats all for now...
hopefully this will be
the first of many great posts
ahead...