damn u...

how cruel can life get?
im in a midst of a crisis
yet i still have to face rejection

today i found out i wont be included in the
floorball division3 team...
shack balls...
after all that long training hours...
sweat and pain...
i din make it...
yeah sure...
theres always next year...
but what about now?
im soupose to go for training
and be happy for my friends
who made it and act as if im
happy?
i mean...
yeah...
congrats to those who made it...
but i jus feel damn shack rite now...
balls...
_______________________________________
Ku yang tak pernah bisa lupakan dirinya
Yang kini hadir di antara kita
Namun ku juga takkan bisa menepis bayangmu
Yang slama ini temani hidupku

Maafkan aku…Menduakan cintamu
Berat rasa hatiku..Tinggalkan dirinya
Dan demi waktu..Yang bergulir di sampingmu
Maafkanlah diriku..Sepenuh hatimu
Seandainya bila..Ku bisa memilih

Kalau saja waktu itu Ku tak jumpa dirinya
Mungkin semua takkan seperti ini
Dirimu dan dirinya kini ada di hatiku
Membawa aku dalam kehancuran

dammit...

its the same old feeling...
taking its toll on me
just at a different time...

what was back then,
still is now...

i just dont get it...

how is it that,
something that is never mine,
always leaves me wanting more...

how is it that,
something that causes me so much pain,
can bring me to such highs...

how is it that,
everytime i leave,
i end up coming back again...

danm it!

i hate myself for
having to go through this...
over and over again...

yet i just love
to force all the
thoughts into my mind...

argh...
i need help...
an intervention...
a cure...
more time...

or maybe...

just maybe...

all i really need...

is what ive been talking about all along...

------------------------------------------------

gonna be having
floorball camp till friday...
so...
yah...
till friday i guess...

first holidays...

what hurts the most,
is being soo close,
and have soo much to say...

hmmm...
as u can probably tell...
kinda 'emo' right now...
nothing drastic...
jus very very confused and lost...
*figure it out urself*

anywayz...
on a high note...
finally got to watch
pirates of the caribbean...
watched it alone...
thks to ppl i know who cant
bother to watch it together...
felt like 1 of those lonely
uncles who go to the movies alone
to...
erm...
god knows what they are doing
in the cinema by themselves...
haha...

anywayz...
the movie was great...
didnt know singapore was once
occupied by chinese pirates...
and chow yun fat!!!
hahaha...
imagine if they stuck wit
our country coming from
malay beginnings...
haha...
they would probably have to hire
Suhaimi yusof or Najip Ali
to be the asian captain...
hahaha...
anywayz...
keira knightly was hot...
regardless of what ppl
think of her boobs...
she is HOT!!!
haha...
and the way she dresses
in the movie might
just end up being
some guys fetish...
haha...
*dun get any ideas...its not me*
anywayz...
the whole POTC always have the
habit of leaving some scence
for after the credits...
so there i was...
after the movie ended...
waiting for the credits to roll...
as i held in my pee...
and it was worth it...
haha...
got to see keira knightly one more time...
haha...coolness...

hmm...
got to see the movie today
as its the start of my break...
2 weeks...
no school...
but sadly...
there is still floorball
training...
and its usual time which is in the evenings...
so yeah...
kinda doomed to staying at home on weekdays...